Halfway Around the Sun

Dear Charlie Bird,

It's been a while since I have written you. At the time of my last letter to you (August 6th, 2021), you were four days away from "graduating" from the NICU, which meant you could finally come HOME. Your Mom and I knew that "home" was a real possibility at that time, but we didn't tell you only because you had thrown us curveballs in the past. Alas, on August 10th, you were discharged from the NICU with Nurse Holly and Nurse Megan at your side, playing "Pomp and Circumstance" throughout the halls of the neonatal unit.

Your Mom and I loaded you into our car, waved goodbye to our Nurse Holly, Nurse Megan, and Helen DeVos Children's Hospital, and then we sat in the car and cried. We were thrilled to be bringing you home. We were scared to be solely responsible for your health and well-being. We were devastated to leave the friends we made in the NICU. It was a moment your Mom and I will never forget. We took the backroads that day, not going faster than 45mph. When we got home, our neighbors Brandon and Sarah were able to capture your official homecoming.

While the doctors at the NICU continuously commented on how well you were doing, we still had some health challenges to deal with. Most notably, you came home on a feeding tube and on some blood pressure medication (amlodipine). At the time, you were eating between 35-40mL of breastmilk per feed from the bottle, and the rest of your feed had to be completed by the feeding tube gavage. Each day, your Mom and I tracked exactly how many mLs you took by bottle, and each week, we saw your feeds increase.

Along with the feeding tube, you had (and still do have) quite a few follow-up appointments to make sure you are progressing in all of the right areas. You had a nurse visit our house once a week to take your weight, check your feeding tube, your blood pressure, and answer any questions your Mom and I had. Those weekly appointments stopped after your weight gain and health were deemed acceptable.

You had a weekly in-home appointment with Occupational Therapy, which focused entirely on your feeding. Our OT Gail helped us realize you needed to go up a nipple size on your bottles, leading to your feeds dramatically increase in volume. Now, you are eating an average of 140mL per feed, using a Size-2 nipple. It seems like yesterday that we were in the NICU celebrating you taking a 15mL bottle for half of your feeds. Your Mother is still a bit petty that the NICU OT department wanted to subject you to a swallow study. I've been able to let it go. OT no longer comes to visit you once-a-week. All of your feeding decisions are made by your Mom and me, with consultation from the dietician from the neurodevelopment office.

Physical Therapy also came to the house once a week to work on your tummy time, symmetry, and other exercises. Now, PT come once every other week, and you're working on things like "finding your hands," keeping your head centered (midline) and not favoring one side or the other, as well as other skills like rolling over. Now, I don't want to brag too much, but you learned how to roll over on your own, at two-and-a-half months adjusted age, no doubt. In November, you will be evaluated for Early On physical therapy that happens through the Forest Hills school district. This service is milestone-based so they decide what resources are needed for each child.

As for other appointments, you are done with those dreaded eye exams for good. Your next "normal," non-invasive eye exam is in January, and that is only to check if you may need glasses in the long run.

You have a pediatrician close to home that you've been to a few times for your 4-month vaccines, and soon your 6-month vaccines. On top of that, you have qualified for the RSV vaccine due to your prematurity, which will put your Mom and me at ease a bit more as we navigate your first winter. RSV is a nasty respiratory illness that we hope to avoid due to your premature lungs.

You had one neurodevelopment appointment and you are "on track" for your adjusted age. Your next appointment will be in January. You have another heart echocardiogram coming up in February, which is a routine exam for preemies. For a while, you also went to the nephrologist for periodic check-ups for your blood pressure. After about a month at home, you were deemed healthy enough to completely eliminate your amlodipine from your daily routine.

Nurse Holly (now known as Aunt Holly) came to visit on a few occasions to get her Charlie Bird fix as well.

BUT... Besides all of that, you have NOTHING else that your medical team is worried about. Over the past two-plus months, you have hit many milestones and experienced many firsts. I'll do a quick run-down of as many of them as I can.

August 13, 2021 - You met your dog-brother Archie for the first time. Historically, Archie hasn’t exactly been warm to new people, but he loved you immediately, and he still always finds you when you are eating or crying.

August 26, 2021 - You attended (part of) your first high school football game, as we went to see Zeeland West take on East Grand Rapids. There was a rain delay, so we couldn't stay as long as we wanted, but we were able to see some of the guys that I was able to coach during basketball season.

August 28, 2021 - This was the day that we officially took your feeding tube out for good. At this point, you were averaging about 70mL per feed, and you were eating eight times a day. Your mom and I figured out a system for your feeds, especially the overnight feeds. When you came home, you were on a 2-5-8-11 feed schedule, so I would take the 11pm feed while your mom slept, then your mom would take the 2am feed, and I would wake up for the 5am feed before going to work. (Oh, did I mention that I started going back to school about a week after you came home? Maybe that's why it took me so long to finally write you!) We loved seeing your face without the tube.

September 6, 2021 - Because your feed volumes increased to 90mL per bottle, we were able to cut down to seven feeds a day. Your feed schedule switched to a 3-6-9-12 schedule, so we cut out the 3am feed, with me taking the midnight feed and mom taking the 6am feed so I could get up and get ready for work. I had actually enjoyed the 5am feeds because it gave me plenty of time to wake up and get ready for work. The 6am feed cut it close with my commute to work. And for a while, before we switched you to the size 2 nipple, your feeds were absolute battles. It wasn't until our OT Gail said that your feeding difficulties could be because you were sucking too hard on the smaller nipple. Once we switched you to the bigger nipple, our lives drastically improved, as your feeds now only took 15-30 minutes, instead of sometimes taking 45-60 minutes.

September 11, 2021 - For your Mom's birthday, we brought you to your first Michigan State tailgate. You met countless family members that you hadn't met yet, you witnessed your first round of "Flip Cup," and you were as relaxed as you could be throughout the whole tailgate. All we had to do was feed you before the tailgate and after the tailgate. I never thought I'd be literally sitting on a car tailgate, at a tailgate, feeding my daughter, but here we were. It was a special day since you were able to meet so many people (from your stroller... we weren't passing you around 'hot-potato-style' quite yet).

September 12, 2021 - You met Auntie Meg and Uncle Mark for the first time, as we drove to Lansing to meet up with them for brunch. Pretty soon, they will have a little one of their own, and you and the baby will be thick as thieves.

September 15, 2021 - This was the day you first started truly smiling at us on a regular basis. You had been getting more and more expressive since being home, but there was something about your smile that was so fun to see.

September 17-19, 2021 - This weekend marked your first trip "out-of-state," as we traveled to Fort Wayne, Indiana to see Poppy & Gigi, as well as go to a wedding shower for Aunt Mo & Uncle Joe. Throughout the weekend, you met a lot of family and friends. First, you met Uncle Albert:

Then, at the shower, you met so many people, including your Great-Grandma Sandy. You were either yawning during the picture, or absolutely terrified of her:

September 23, 2021 - Who said taking care of babies wasn't a dirty job? Huh? Literally nobody said that? Weird... Well, I learned that raising a baby can be dirty and disgusting at times the hard way, as you emptied the entirety of your stomach all over me after finishing a huge bottle. The worst part is that I could tell it was coming, but like a train-wreck in slow motion, I was frozen and couldn't look away.

September 24-26, 2021 - This weekend, you made your first trip to Lake Gage. We have made this an annual trip with Aunt Tessa, Uncle Matt, Georgie, and Leah. We walked around the lake...

Hung out at the cottage...

Worked on your exercises with Aunt Tessa, our favorite Occupational Therapist...

And took you out on your first boat ride...

September 28, 2021 - You flew on your first plane as we traveled down to Seaside for Aunt Mo's and Uncle Joe's wedding. Grandma Kay and Granddad came with us to act as your babysitters for the weekend, since your Mom and I were busy with some of the wedding events of the weekend.

September 29, 2021 - This was a day that Poppy had been looking forward to since the day we told him and Gigi that Mom was pregnant with you. Just about every other day throughout the pregnancy, and then every other day throughout your 112 days in the NICU, Poppy would say how excited he was for your "inaugural toe dip" in the Gulf of Mexico down in Seaside. Finally, after 162 days, your "inaugural toe dip" happened, and we were able to capture that moment.

As you can see, Poppy loved having you down in his happy place (which has turned into our whole family's happy place).

Plus, how lucky were we to have so many family members in one place?

September 30, 2021 - Your feed volumes continued to increase, and on this day, you were averaging 110mL per feed. This meant we could cut you down to six feeds a day. Now, we could feed you at 6am, 9am, noon, 3pm, 6pm, and 9pm, then put you down to bed for the evening. Since then, you have been a dream, sleeping (most) nights for about nine hours. Your Mom and I have been enjoying the (mostly) uninterrupted sleep. Before this day, you had been cluster-feeding, which meant you were eating an additional time between the 6pm and 9pm feed. So you had been getting a solid night's sleep for a while, but it wasn't until this night that you officially dropped down to six feeds.

October 1, 2021 - On this day, Aunt Mo & Uncle Joe officially got married. While you didn't attend the ceremony (Grandma Kay was watching you and feeding you), you did come by after the ceremony for some family pictures. You were able to meet some more special people, like your Great-Grandpa Pop Pop (Gigi's dad) and Great-Grandma Kathy!

October 9, 2021 - This wasn't a first, but it was one of the days that your Mom and I took a million pictures of you smiling during Tummy Time. We have SO MANY pictures like this, but we can't help it.

October 10, 2021 - You "found" your thumb for the first time and you were sucking on it for a while. I forgot to mention this, but your PT thinks you could possibly be left-handed based on how your left hand seems to be stronger and more coordinated than your right hand. If you look in the picture, you'll notice you are sucking on your left thumb...

Am I giddy about the thought of you developing a silky lefty jump-shot? Yes, yes I am. When your Mom and I were talking about the possibility of you being a lefty, I said, "It is so cool Charlie's a lefty, because we have so few lefties in our family." Your Mom quickly reminded me that your Auntie Tula, cousin Nolan, and Great-Gramps Roger are all lefties. My attention to detail is lacking, at times!

You also continued to show that you love love love bath time with that expressive smile of yours.

October 11, 2021 - You continued to showcase your left-hand dominant traits, shaking your rattle that you received from the NICU a few months back.

October 15, 2021 - On this day, you made history by rolling over for the first time! Your mom did an amazing job of capturing the roll on camera so that I could see it from school. Look at you! You are a prodigy! You are amazing! (I am already channeling the favoritism for my child, but I can't help it!)

You also attended your first Hudsonville football game, and because the weather is starting to get a bit chilly, you wore your "Charlie Bird" hat from Uncle Joe's mom (Sweet T).

October 19, 2021 - You had your first MAJOR blow-out. And I don't mean the blow-out that your Mom likes to get for her hair...

I will spare the audience more pictures, but rest assured, I am beyond happy that I was at work, because if I had been there for the clean-up of this crime scene, I would have only added a bucket of vomit to the equation.

All of these "firsts" and all of these special moments have been amazing to witness each day. However, today is a big milestone for you, and it's a milestone that we weren't always sure we would see when we were in the early days in the NICU.

Today, you are six months old. Today is your half-birthday. It is so cliche, but it seems like yesterday I was pacing around a hospital room as the doctors prepared your Mom for delivery. It seems like yesterday I heard you cry for the first time in the delivery room. It seems like yesterday your Mom and I were fist-pumping to the news that you weighed more than two pounds. And it seems like yesterday I saw you in your isolate for the first time, with all of the wires, and leads, and IVs attached to you. At that point, I don't think I could have imagined you as the baby you are now. But today, our time in the NICU feels like it was a whole lifetime ago.

April 20, 2021:

October 20, 2021:

Although it was stressful, we are still so thankful for our time in the NICU. In fact, we are planning to get more involved in the NICU in the coming months. Your Mom and I are planning to volunteer, helping families going through what we went through by providing our testimony and advice. It's the least we can do for such a special place.

Looking ahead, you and I will have plenty of bonding time coming up. Like I mentioned earlier, I went back to work only six days after you came home from the hospital. But starting around the week of Thanksgiving, I will be taking off some time from work to be home with you while Mom goes back to work.

During that time, we will be looking for someone to be your Nanny for when I go back to work after the new year. Your pediatrician encouraged us to not send you to daycare because of the risk of you getting sick from other kids. So we will be interviewing potential nannies to take care of you during the day while Mom is working and while I'm at school. We think we have some good candidates, but I'll introduce you to whoever it is when that time comes. In the weeks when Mom and I both have to work, your Nurse Natalie (one of your night nurses from the NICU) will be babysitting you during the day. I’m sure you’ll love being reunited with Natalie.

On top of that, I have decided to not coach basketball this year. It was a difficult decision, but it only felt right to stay home this winter and help out as you continue to grow. After all, we did not know what your medical needs would be this winter, and your Mom has sacrificed enough. It was my turn to sacrifice something, and coaching happened to be it. Don't get me wrong... We will still be attending a lot of high school basketball games, specifically Zeeland West games, but I won't be gone every night for a few hours. While I was really disappointed at first, I have realized just how special it will be to have this time at home with you and Mom.

Six months old. It is crazy to think about. You left the hospital at over eight pounds, which is a weight that Dr. Claudia said NICU babies rarely get to upon their discharge. Now, you are over 11.5 lbs., and you are growing every day. Your hair is starting to come in, and we think you are going to be either a brunette or a dark blonde. Not only are you rolling over, but you are starting to put a lot of weight on your legs when we hold you and you "stand up" in our laps. You are going to be walking before we know it.

But Charlie, we love seeing your smiling face every day. When your Mom or I have a tough day, your smile brightens our day. Soon, you'll be laughing (or you better be!) at my jokes. Soon, you'll be sitting in a high chair, eating food that isn't breastmilk. Soon, you'll be crawling around the living room, chasing Archie and keeping him company. These past six months have flown by. I would love if time could slow down, but I know that's not possible. Wow, you've had such an eventful life already. I cannot wait to see what's on the horizon for you in the next six months.

I love you, Charlie Bird! Happy half-birthday! You are my hero.

Love,

Dad